Teaching Independent Play Skills: Toddler

To encourage a toddler to play by himself:

1. Pick an activity that you think your toddler will enjoy and can do alone. For example, building Legos is something that a child can do well alone. Play with your child the whole time the first couple of times.
2. Provide many "love pats" during the play activity. Keep your talking to a minimum.
3. Begin to excuse yourself from the activity at times when your child is playing well. Leave the activity for a very short amount of time, perhaps only 5 seconds. For example, you might walk over to the kitchen counter and then go right back to the activity. After about 2 days of excusing yourself for only 5 seconds, plan to be gone 7 or 8 seconds. Gradually increase how long you are gone. You can increase the amount of time you are gone as long as your child keeps playing while you are gone. What you are aiming for is to be able to leave the activity without interrupting what your toddler is doing.
4. Over time (2 or 3 months), gradually stay away for longer and longer periods of time, until you notice that you can be gone for a long time. As you are able to excuse yourself for longer periods of time, don't forget to give your child brief, nonverbal, physical contact every now and then. In this way your child will have the enjoyment of playing alone and love from you during the activity.

With time and practice, your toddler will learn how to play by himself without help from you. The more toddlers play alone, the more they can accomplish on their own. They will also be more satisfied with the play activity.