Keeping Family Routines When a Child Is Seriously Ill
Parents rarely have a normal lifestyle when their child is in the hospital. They sleep in chairs in their child's room or on sofas in the waiting room. They clean up and change clothes in hospital restrooms. Under these conditions, parents miss quality sleep and lose their appetite. Lack of food and sleep can cause more stress.
The following suggestions will help parents cope with the stress caused by having a seriously ill child, not caring for themselves, and dealing with other family members.
- Keep a routine.
When your child is in the hospital, your routines are changed. Try to return to your normal schedule. Although this can be difficult, parents who return to their normal routines usually say they feel better. Brothers and sisters also need to go on with their lives. They may want to and should be allowed to participate in school and their normal activities. These activities help children cope with the disruption in their lives. A few laps around a go-cart track, for example, can provide therapy for the kids as well as the parents who go with them.
When a child is first in the hospital, many family members will gather at the hospital. At first, these gatherings will help and support the parents and child. But, after a short time this can disrupt your family's schedule and cause more stress. Members of the extended family should also return to their daily schedules as soon as practical.
- Keep physically fit.
Several studies suggest that physical exercise can help prevent or reduce clinical depression. Get some exercise by going on long brisk walks around the hospital. Exercise will also help you sleep. Exercise and a good night's sleep can improve your appetite. The combination of exercise, sleep, and eating will lower stress levels.
- Deal effectively with siblings.
Rather than several long talks, parents should talk briefly and honestly with their other children. How and when the siblings want to talk should be respected by the parents. Sometimes children may respond inappropriately to the situation, not understanding how difficult it is for parents to deal with the illness. They may want to say they are "glad he is sick." Parents need to decide if they will tolerate such behavior. If they don't, then they must set limits.
Parents typically set aside discipline and limit-setting while one of their children is in the hospital. However, enforcing house rules will help restore a normal life for the healthy children and limit behavioral problems. For example, a parent may allow their children to sleep with them because they don't feel like arguing with them. Remember, once a habit like this is started, it is hard to break.
- Give emotional support to parents under stress.
When you are visiting with a family whose child is in the hospital, physical contact that's gentle and supportive is usually more comforting than words. Holding a parent's hand without saying a word can be more comforting then nervously babbling on.
Unfortunately, many families will face a child's hospitalization. If parents can keep a normal schedule as much as possible, get some exercise, spend normal time with their other children, and receive comfort and support from family and friends, the impact of the illness on the family can be minimized.
